A Date to Remember
by Hunger4Righteousness
Summary: Sometimes those who seem to have it all, don't. Rising star reporter Roxanne Ritchi is left pondering the drawbacks of her career when she can't even get a date for her birthday. But by the end of the night she'll be pondering other things. *Posted in honor of the third anniversary of Megamind's theatrical release.*
1. Chapter 1

_A friend of mine, Sapphiregirl93, reminded me that yesterday was the third anniversary of Megamind's release in theaters. Happy Mega-Anniversary, everybody! Good thing she said something because I'm terrible about remembering dates like that. *slaps own hand* Bad dog. But since I was sitting on this new fic's first chapter, having it nearly ready to go besides the final obsessive-compulsive messing around with details, I figured... what the heck. I'll just post it to celebrate. I hope you enjoy! (And... I retain the right to come back in here and mess with it some more later. I really am terrible about that.) And remember, reviews are always appreciated. ;)_

* * *

_Hang on. I forgot something important. A friend of mine (different friend) helped inspire this fic! She once sent me an idea for a story and playing around with it is how this one came to be. Granted, the original plot has changed quite a bit, but some crucial elements that were originally her ideas are still present. So, THANK YOU, Sally! I finally got around to it! _

* * *

Chapter 1

_Twenty-seven… Twenty-seven… Twen-ty-seev-een…_

The number kept repeating in her head as she tried to concentrate on typing up the notes she'd made from her last interview until she finally cast another glance at the huge golden stack of boxes almost hidden under an even larger golden gauze bow sitting on the chair near her desk. _Twenty-seven. In a few years I'll be…_

Jerking her eyes back to the keyboard, her fingers pounded with greater ferocity. Tap! Tap! Tappity-tap!

She had never liked birthdays. Not since her tenth when she noticed the gifts were becoming more "practical" and "useful", including that set of encyclopedias from a once-favored aunt. That was when she'd realized that birthdays were nothing but a dirty rotten trick. The definitive demarcation of time slipping away. It wasn't getting older that bothered her but the realization that always came along with it. The depressing thought that one more chunk of her life had passed, never to return, and the sinking feeling with the more recent birthdays that she was still missing something. Something important. Her eyes strayed to the gleaming present again._  
_

To the casual observer she would have seemed to have it all. Her degree, acquired with no small amount of effort and conferred on her with highest honors, a career she had always determined to fight hard for but which had practically landed in her lap, and no small amount of clout along with it. Fame as well. Few others could claim to be so recognizable a figure in Metro City society. Independence, a decent paycheck, just the sort of low-maintenance, high-end studio apartment in just the right part of town that she'd been hoping would open up and had. With a view no less. Plus the attention of the most powerful man in the city.

A tension in her jaw signaled the return of the two perpendicular lines furrowing her brow, and raising a hand to her face she massaged them away before flicking her shoulder length hair behind her collar while taking a deep breath. Her fingers dropped to her desk and began to drum irritably as she realized yet another colleague was passing the doorway of her cubicle with purposefully measured tread, unable to resist glancing inside.

She turned to glare at the interloper, but the unsuspecting target had already moved on. They were hardly subtle, her co-workers. And all because last year Wayne had sent her this giant multi-level tower of ridiculously expensive truffles for her birthday and she had shared some. And the year before. And the year before that too. Sure, the first time she had been delighted, flattered, secretly smug at how envious all the other girls in the office were. And feeling generous, she'd passed out an entire layer of the dark brown velvet-textured treats. Heck, by the end of the day she had nearly handed out the whole damn thing. So now they expected it. But this year when the boxes arrived in the deferential hands of the Scott's private courier with his usual impudent wink, she'd coolly thanked and dismissed him and left it sitting on the edge of her desk. But it took up too much space so she moved it to the chair. She didn't feel like opening it, and she didn't feel like sharing. And the sharks had been circling all day.

But now it was nearly time to go home. Closing the lid of her laptop, she sat back and gazed out the window at the city she called home. _Twenty-seven, girl. In a few short years you'll be…_

With a wince she closed her eyes, thinking of how fast the last three years had passed. And how fast the next few probably would too. The next few… or even more than a few. _So what. Look at what I've accomplished._

_But did you?_

Her eyes opened, zeroing in on a framed document carefully hung on her wall_. _Her degree._ I did that. All on my own. Did my internship. Landed this job. On my own._ She remembered walking into her current boss's office, nervous as a cat and green as an apple, boldly laying out exactly why he should hire her; why she was the best person for the job and what she expected to accomplish as a reporter.

The bemused look on his face had told her he had been as amused by the brash temperament and insistent energy of the serious young woman as he was impressed by her naïve determination. But she had been hired.

_That was all me._

But that wasn't the end of the story. Everybody knew the battles between the city's hero and villain were the surest source of news and entertainment around. And Roxanne had been determined to stake a claim to that goldmine, a big one, and damn the consequences. She had nothing to lose. So she donned her flak jacket, got closer, asked more questions, researched background information tirelessly, demanded answers. She had always pushed her way up front in the crowd of reporters on each and every scene, shouting the loudest questions. And yeah, ok, she knew her most obvious assets and how to make use of them.

It became clear that Wayne had noticed the pretty, blue-eyed reporter. And soon it was just as clear that Megamind had noticed the way Wayne gave her preferential treatment after each squabble. if she were honest, she would have had to admit that had it been within her power to change things, she probably wouldn't have when they saw fit to start making her an integral part of their games. She knew she'd hit the jackpot. At least, once she understood that she wasn't actually in mortal danger every time she was abducted. They'd been on magazine covers and made the front page of the news over and over. Her boss loved it. Free advertising! She, however much she had been happy to rise to the top at first, was not so sure anymore.

As far as she could see, it was just a big show; two shipwrecked aliens duking it out over the town they lived in. What she really wanted to know was why. But no one seemed to bother looking beyond their assumptions to ask that. Wayne always just fell back on the usual canned platitudes about justice and blah, blah. Like he thought he was fooling her, sidestepping the issue with generalities. She had also tried to gain access to the super-max facility inside the prison in order to get an interview outside the usual weekly scuffles with the super-brained convict that everyone was so afraid of, but she was always turned away because of the "risk" involved. She found that laughable. Megamind just wasn't that scary to her. It was a fact that she found him a lot more interesting than Wayne.

Truth be told, after all this time she wasn't that interested in Wayne anymore and least of all romantically. But that inconvenient little factoid wasn't going to help her career. In the beginning he'd been keen to woo her, and they had certainly been seen at more than a few official functions together. She sighed, knowing she shouldn't have given in to the temptation to help the rumors along, but being seen with the most powerful man in the city had undoubtedly benefitted her career. It had crushed her personal life, but, well, something had to give. She argued with herself that she hadn't really led him on, that he was using her as much as she was using him, and that he probably knew by now she really didn't want a rich, self-centered, hero-playboy for a boyfriend because lately she had been getting the vibe that he wasn't totally into her either. But he seemed content to pursue what everybody assumed was "meant to be". In public at least. For show. She wondered sometimes how far he was going to take it. The idea of hanging on his arm, draped in the same sort of golden material as the box of chocolates, being his eye candy, his prize for winning, made her shudder.

Her mom liked the idea. Way too much. She'd told her she simply wasn't ready to be tied down at this point in her career, but… twenty-seven… She could hear it now. The conversation she would be having later that evening. _Yeah, mom, I know he's a catch. I know, he's rich. I know my clock is ticking. _

To her mother, it was perfect. To Roxanne, it was a life sentence. The thought of continuing this charade indefinitely and being a trophy wife and having Wayne's babies… if that was even possible… ugh.

She sighed. Lifting her chin from her hand she stood up from the chair and, flipping her chestnut locks behind her shoulder again, began gathering her things. She would cross that bridge when they came to it. In the meantime, why be restless when she had it all?

Why? Because truth be told, her life wasn't quite as fulfilling as it probably seemed to those looking in from the outside. Yes, something was missing.

Last she picked up the golden gift - substantial, weighty, unopened - glancing at the flowing script on the tag: _The world's finest chocolates… from the man who wants to give you the world. _

Her lip curled. What was wrong with her? Who wouldn't want to be pursued by the most powerful man in the city? And yet all she could think every time she read the sentiment she was sure some lackey had penned at Wayne's command was 'gag'. The temptation to dump the thing in the first trashcan she passed out on the street became more compelling. Slinging her bag over her shoulder and stepping out into the hallway, she noticed Silvia lingering, arms full of papers, looking at her hungrily.

"Hey, birthday girl! Going home already?" the rival reporter asked, glancing at the gift.

"Yep." Roxanne gripped the edge of her present a little tighter as a ludicrous vision of the woman suddenly pouncing on it and ripping it open flitted through her mind.

"Well, you're a lucky, lucky girl, Roxanne. I won't hold you up. Bet you've got big plans for tonight too."

Suddenly feeling pitiful and mean, she imagined sitting on the couch in her sweatpants, stuffing herself full of chocolate all alone. With a snorting smirk she muttered, "Yeah."

_An offer from Wayne I will once again turn down which he won't even bother to seem upset about_. She already had her excuse ready. _ An annoying phone call from my mom, a TV dinner… oh heck, maybe I'll treat myself and order in. What's that? A real date? Of course I - oooh wait. That's right. No. No date. Because the entire city presuming I have a relationship with Wayne has pretty much killed off any possibility of being asked out ever again! And any friends I do have assume I'll be spending the evening with said fictional boyfriend. _

Not that she went out much with friends anyway. Megamind's constant threat of interference intimidated them too much. And really, that was just what she needed to shake this funk. One really fun night to cut loose. _But no…_ The same two people that had made her career were ruining her life.

As she began walking away, Silvia called out, "Have fun!" She added under her breath, "Lucky duck."

_Yeah. That's me. A lucky ducky. Quack._

Maybe that was what was bothering her so much. She wanted to think of herself as a strong, independent woman who had worked hard to get where she was. Did everybody else just see her as lucky?

It was partly that fear that pushed her to take chances, especially at work. She'd been called on the carpet a few times lately for putting herself in danger. Taking too many risks. She was a valuable commodity to the station now. She'd only shrugged, determined to make it seem as though it was nothing. But her boss had gone all concerned and fatherly on her. "I can't have anything happen to Metro Man's favorite girl," he'd smiled. "He'd never forgive me."

It made her want to scream. But she was stuck. Her job relied on her role. And that burned.

"Hey, Silvia! Wait a minute…"

* * *

"Mom…" she sighed into the phone. The tiny snips of hair the stylist had missed cleaning up that were now falling down the back of her neck weren't nearly as irritating as listening to the same advice her mother had been offering – or rather, pushing on her - for the last several birthdays.

The walk-in salon had been right on the way home, and it seemed like the perfect opportunity given her rebellious state of mind to go for that pixie cut she'd been wanting to try. Wait until the makeup girl at work saw it. At least it was going to be easy to style. Wait until her mom saw it. Or Wayne.

"I'm just saying, Roxanne. You're not getting any younger-"

Roxanne grimaced.

"-and if you want to have a family-"

"Yeah well, I don't know if I _do_ want to have a family!"

_That's what I should say_. She was gripping the cell phone so tight her fingertips and knuckles had turned a sickly whitish color. Her bag slipped from her shoulder to the crook of her elbow, nearly flipping the stack of boxes right out of her arms, and as she tried to hitch it up, she could feel little hairs falling further down her back. She needed to shift the position of the chocolates to her other arm and try to not drop the phone at the same time. In her struggle she was barely creeping along, and people steamed past oblivious to the smoke she was certain had to be rising from her ears. What she really wanted to do was slam the phone and the boxes on the ground so she could slap like crazy at those pokey hairs under her collar. Instead she heard the usual noncommittal assurance slipping from between her lips. "I know, Mom. I know."

"Don't roll your eyes at me, young lady. I know you are."

Biting back another sigh, she defiantly rolled them once more, so hard she nearly gave herself a headache and sidestepped the comment at the same time as she sidled around a hole in the sidewalk. "Ok, look, I'm almost home, and I have to get ready to go out."

"Ok, honey. Tell Wayne I said hi!"

"Okay!" she promised with false brightness. _Next time I see him. Which won't be tonight._

"Be good, and have a great birthday, sweetheart. I love you!"

Be good. "Thanks, Mom. Love you too."

As she pressed 'end', her heart hardened. _Be good. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm not planning to do tonight. _Thinking of the plans she'd made with Silvia, she finally smiled. Hopefully some of the other girls would be available – and willing - to go out as well. Struggling to coax the phone back into the ridiculously small pocket of her purse and not fumble her tower of boxes in the meantime, she thought about all the possible places they could go after they met up at The Funky Lizard Lounge… Barry's… maybe Rue 57, it had a colorful reputation, until uttering a mild oath, she stopped altogether. She spotted the opening of an alley a few steps ahead and made for it, phone still in hand, meaning to set everything down out of the way of all the foot traffic so she could redistribute her load.

"Can I help you with that?"

"Thanks," she gasped, eyes on her gift as it nearly took a dive right off her arm. She caught it and looked up with a grateful smile. "It's about time somebody- Oh! Nawww, great."

The incongruence of a hairy, primate-shaped, robotic body being the primary habitat and conveyance for a fish-shaped alien never failed to strike her, no matter how fast he popped that bag on her head.

* * *

Waking up to the sight of myriad mathematical equations pinned to a giant pegboard gave her the same sinking feeling she got from that stupid recurring dream about trying to take a test in school that she hadn't studied for. The electrical hum in the background even sounded ominously similar to the buzz of the wall clocks in the high school, mostly noticeable when everyone was completely silent, such as during an exam. Or maybe the disturbed feeling she awoke to was an effect of the knock-out spray they used. She was sure it had nothing to do with the Gatling gun hanging over her shoulder inches from her head; she was immune to that sort of thing by now. Either way, waking up in Megamind's lair was never pleasant.

She looked around, noticing her bags at her side and the giant tower of golden boxes on a console nearby. The bow had been untied. She scowled. If he'd opened that up – if he'd _eaten_ any - she was going to give him a good kick in the shins as soon as he got close enough.

"-didn't you remind me-"

"I forgot! Why do I always have to remember ev-"

"Shh." The poorly concealed whispering stopped. "She's awake."

"Yeah. I'm awake," Roxanne called out to the unlikely pair. _A man and his fish_, she thought. "Let's get this show on the road. I have plans for tonight."

"Go get that…" The rest of the whispered command was lost to her but she detected the departing footfalls of one ape-suit-wearing fish before Megamind walked into sight from around her seat with a hand resting on the butt of the ray gun at his hip.

"Oh hohoho! Looks who's feeling all… demand-y," he taunted. Then, turning to face her as he reached the front of her chair, he stopped short and took a step back.

"Hel-lo, Ms Ritchi…" He looked her over with a funny smile. "Sporting a new 'do, I see. My, my. I like that very much. It accentuates the…" Passing a hand smoothly along the side of his own bare blue scalp, he raised an eyebrow at her. "_Shape_ of your head quite nicely."

The way he was eyeing her head made Roxanne blush, and unable to think of a suitable reply, she sat fuming, refusing to look directly at the bare pate that was the source and summit of her captor's megalomania, beginning to regret her hasty decision to go for the brash style she now sported. It was rather round.

"And, alas, I'm afraid you'll have to consider your plans for the evening broken."

Narrowing her eyes, Roxanne finally looked directly at him. "What plans?"

"Why your date with Mr. Blunderful, of course. Why you bother to even make plans on days when I require your undivided attention, I have no idea," he shrugged infuriatingly as Roxanne glared. "I'm sure you'll have a chance to see your sorry excuse for a beau tonight – just before his untimely demise – but… sorry to say I'm going to have to break your little date." That last word he bit off hard.

Roxanne huffed. "How do you know we have a date anyway?"

"It's your birthday," he snapped back. "Of course you do. I'm sure your simple-minded brutefriend was planning to take you to dinner in some over-priced eating establishment and… what else? Dancing? A movie? Some… hopeful intoxication possibly?" he murmured suggestively, glancing back at her golden gift.

Roxanne's temper blazed. Apparently he had tasted some of her birthday treat after all, the snot. How else would he have known they were liquor centers? And he obviously bought the lie too. Well, she wasn't going to tell him otherwise. She was livid. "Oh, you wouldn't know a date if it slapped you in the face! In fact," she added viciously, "I bet you've never been on a date in your life."

"Yes, I have," the indignant alien instantly retorted.

"Really."

"Of course!"

"With…?"

Megamind's famously green eyes swiveled back and forth for a moment. "I took Minion to the zoo just the other night."

Roxanne sniffed. "No offense to Minion," she smirked, "but I don't think that counts."

The defendant didn't answer. Maybe she was imagining it, but that incongruously pretty pink blush over his cheekbones seemed to deepen. It was true! And he was embarrassed. She might in normal circumstances have been moved to pity, at least in some small sense, but today she wasn't feeling it. He'd caught her at about the worst possible time of course. Typical way for him to operate. And pressed her buttons and taken liberties with her gifts! Only having PMS could have made her temper any worse. And so, feeling meanly superior, she went on. "So, no. You've never been on a date. Of course you haven't. Because you're a nerd. The ultimate nerd. A science geek bent on ruling the city, holed up in your little workshop here, insulated from the real world, making ray guns and costumes for yourself."

Megamind stared at her coldly. "Well… I'll bet your dating record isn't anything to brag about. It must be a narrow pool to choose from when you only accept offers from the stinking rich! Or famous. Or rich _and_ famous!"

"I do not only date rich men," Roxanne calmly replied.

"Oh yeah? Name someone you've dated who wasn't fabulously wealthy," he demanded, adding quickly, "Within the last five years."

"Ok, that's not fair," she protested. "It's not my fault that nobody will ask me out."

"Oh, poor you! And you couldn't possibly unbend to ask anyone out yourself?"

Roxanne sat with her mouth open for a second. She frowned, unable to come up with a reply. "Well, you-"

"The truth is, no one's good enough for you, Miss Perfect. Except His Scottly Highness."

"I do not think I'm perfect!" she asserted. "And there are a lot of guys I'd be willing to date that aren't rich. Or famous."

"Riiight." He folded his arms dubiously. "Any Joe Schmoo, right?"

"Yes. That's right." She nodded. "A Joe _Schmo_ would be fine."

"Uh huh."

"I'm serious!" It was a good thing her feet were tied. She had an inclination to stamp her foot.

"Sure. Any plumber, construction worker, carpet layer…" He stopped. "I'll bet you've never dated a nerd in your life!"

Suddenly Roxanne laughed. "Oh, believe me, I have dated plenty of nerds." She shook her head. "And… I can see where this is going now. And it's not going to work. There is no way I'm going out with _you_."

"Oh hoho," he chuckled along. "Is that what your tortuously self-absorbed little brain is guessing that I'm up to?" He raised an eyebrow her way. "Like I'd ask you."

The blue villain was laughing easily now, and Roxanne scowled. What did he mean, he wouldn't ask her for a date? He ought to beg her for one!

"Can you see it? Me, trying to get a date with _you_!" He was still laughing and her temper was rising. "Of course not… But even if I did, I'm sure you'd say no." He sobered. "Because you're a snob."

"No!" Roxanne replied hotly, "Because I don't date _convicts_!"

"Why not?" he challenged, leaning in to lock eyes with her, face to angry face. "Scared?"

She huffed. "Pssht! Of you?"

"Well then, let's go, Ms Ritchi." Straightening up, he stuck out his chest and looked down past the end of his thin blue nose at her. "I challenge you to a _date_!"

The reporter narrowed her eyes. "You are such a dork. You don't _challenge_ a woman to a date."

The blue being deflated slightly, recognizing his blunder. He began to pace thoughtfully, moving around behind her chair once again.

"All right then…"

Hearing him clearing his throat, she braced for more taunts, something designed to stir her up further, but instead Megamind did the least likely thing she could think of.

"Would you like to go out sometime?"

The meaning of the question didn't immediately register in her brain, popping up dead calm in the midst of their heated exchange as it had, despite it being about the very thing they'd been arguing over. When she didn't answer, he added as though he needed to clarify, "With me."

It was as normal an offer of a date as she had ever had. No corny pick-up line preceded the question nor slimy come-on was tacked on to the end. Compared to what she'd heard before, it sounded… inviting.

As the startled reporter struggled to respond, Megamind waited, remaining behind her chair. The longer she held her tongue, the more nervous he became until he imagined a racehorse in the starting gate couldn't have been more ready to bolt. Why be nervous though? He knew she would never agree to the idea. He'd meant it as a challenge and offered it as politely as he could so she would have to turn down a perfectly reasonable offer and thereby make his case for him. She couldn't do otherwise. Wouldn't. Would she? No. Might as well play it out, tease her, press her buttons until she finally broke and gave him the inevitable heave-ho, and he could claim the rejection as a win.

"Come on," he leaned over to whisper near her ear. "Prove you're not a snob."

Flustered, she asked, "Where are we going to go? You can't exactly trot me around in public."

He considered the question. Very sneaky of her. Instead of a straight up turndown, she was going to try to deflect the challenge by making him admit the idea was impossible. "Why not?" he demanded. "I suppose you couldn't stand being seen with me."

"Ha! Well besides _that_, I was actually thinking of your outstanding arrest warrants," she turned her head to direct her arguments over her shoulder. "Watching my date get cuffed and hauled off to the clink doesn't exactly sound like a stellar way to wrap up an evening."

She had a point, but he wasn't done yet. It was all a game of chicken now. Who would be the first to flinch; the one to cry uncle? "I'll figure something out."

There was a moment's silence in which the two opponents seemed to be waiting in mild disbelief for something to happen to stop their game, silently holding their thoughts like poker players counting cards until Roxanne spoke again.

"You know I'm just going to write this up later. And tell everybody all about it." She couldn't understand why he wasn't coming up with a better way to defuse the situation. And why she wasn't just slapping him down.

"Fine," Megamind demurred as though he couldn't care less. "Go ahead. Be my guest."

He couldn't believe his ears. She still hadn't turned him down. And did she think he would care if the whole city knew that they'd gone on a date? Obviously it might count as a black mark against her, but for him… Score one against his nemesis! A big one! A date with his girlfriend? Go ahead and shout it from the rooftops! How could that be used as a threat?

Although… she did have a habit of painting him in a very negative light, even at times when he had clearly been fabulous. He pouted resolutely, clenching his fists at his sides. Fine, let her make him look a fool, pointing out all his mistakes. On his first date. He would risk it. He wasn't going to be the one to chicken out.

"Ok, fine." Roxanne's thoughts were spinning. _Now this is pushing the limits. A date with a super villain? _Her mind reeled at the idea of willingly going out with this person who took liberties with her freedom every week. _Never mind that. Think of it as an opportunity. The first real interview anybody's ever gotten with him._ She found it difficult to own up to the level of excitement she felt and chalked it up to the feeling of playing with fire.

"You mean… yes?"

"Yeah," she said, taking note of his tone of disbelief. "Yes."

Oddly, it was at that moment she felt that tiny hint of pity she had turned aside from before. He really was such a nerd. With no one in the world but Minion. She was certain he'd never even asked a girl out before, and instantly she realized how much courage it must have taken to do it. Or, just plain reckless ballsiness. Yeah, that was more his style.

"Ok. Good." He could play it cool too. It was just a good thing his heart wasn't audible from outside his chest. One hand curled over the galloping organ as he stood near the back of her chair and asked, "Uh… when? Saturday?"

"No, that's no good for me."

_I am sitting here… tied up… planning a date – a date! – with this criminal. I am seriously doing this?_ Her mother would plotz. She almost smiled. In the back of her mind she had already calculated the time she would need to meet the deadline for the Sunday edition of the Metro City Times so she could send the story in, entertainment section. Editorial maybe. _Well, why not? Did I want to break out of the mould today or what?_

"Saturday's no good for me," she continued. "How about Friday?"

"No, I have plans for Friday." He didn't. Nothing concrete anyway unless replacing Minion's filters counted. But he didn't want to appear too eager, jumping on the first day she offered.

Roxanne clicked her tongue. "Is there ever really a time you don't have plans? Evil plans in the works?" she questioned irritably. "Look, we're both busy people. How about tonight? Since you've already ruined my plans for this particular evening. My _birthday_," she added with weighty significance.

"Oh! Tonight? Um…" Glancing at his simian sidekick who happened to be walking back into the room completely oblivious to the turn of events playing out, he thought briefly of the mechanized mayhem they'd created, just waiting for the evening's program to begin. It could wait a day or two, he reasoned, clasping his hands behind his back. Opportunity was knocking and he was never one to refuse to answer the door. "Yeah, ok." He rocked back and forth on the heels of his boots. "Sure."

An uneasy silence fell over the room until Minion asked, "Um, what's going on?"

Megamind turned smartly to his henchman. "Change of plans, Minion. I'm taking Ms Ritchi out on a date."

Fumbling the box he was carrying, the startled fish nearly dropped his precious load. "Wha- What? A – a _date_? You… you…"

"Yes, Min-ion," his boss directed a steely gaze at his inappropriately astonished friend. "_I_. And Roxanne."

All the poor fish could do was stand staring with his mouth hanging open until his boss snatched away the smart grey box he was holding with a dangerously hard glint in his green eyes. He finally emerged from behind his victim's – correction, his _date's_ - chair, hoping his ichthyoid friend would pull himself together before he became an embarrassment to them both. "Minion has fetched our, er my, birthday present to you."

"Oh! Um, thanks." Roxanne was genuinely surprised. "I'd take it, but… you know. I'm a little tied up at the moment."

"Ha ha. Very droll." Moving over to set the gift near the chocolates of his rival, the absurdity of this woman who had just accepted his offer of a date still being tied up struck him. And yet, they still had to control her exit from the Lair somehow.

Then Roxanne piped up, "Would you mind if I go home and change? Get out of my work clothes. Actually I really need a shower." Talking about getting ready for their date, the bonds around her wrists had never felt more awkward.

"Oh, you don't have to go to any trouble for my sake," he assured her magnanimously.

"Uh well, actually it's not for your sake. It's for mine. I just had a haircut, remember?"

"Yeah. So?"

"So there are all those little clippings down the back of my neck."

"Oh."

Seeing he was clueless, she realized he'd never had a haircut of course and so hadn't experienced the supreme irritation of those prickly little hairs. Roxanne explained. "It's uncomfortable. Very… itchy. So if you don't want your date to be fidgeting all night, I suggest you at least let me get cleaned up."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "If this is just some pathetic attempt to get out of our agreement as well as outfoxing my plan for the night, you-"

"No, it's not. I'm totally serious. Cross my heart."

Still eyeing her suspiciously, he decided coordinating and making up little factoids about hair trimmings was probably far too elaborate of a means of avoiding victimhood and decided she must be telling the truth. "All right then. I will return you to your apartment and allow you one hour to prepare. But don't even think about trying to get away."

"Wow, start right out with a threat. That's the way to romance your date," she commented dryly. "I'm nearly swooning in anticipation of this momentous occasion."

Ignoring the jibe, he motioned to his henchman to prepare the victim for transport. "Minion."

"Oh wait-"

The spray caught her leaning forward midsentence.

"Oops. Too late." He caught her head in one hand and eased her down as she began to slip sideways off the chair. "Oh well. She can tell me what it was when we pick her up again." He gazed down at her, his date, passed out on the floor. _Date! Wow. I can't believe it. I'm going out on a date. _Then looking at his hand, he noted aloud, "Oh! There really are little clippings. Look at that." He held his palm up for the curious fish's inspection.

* * *

_He's late_. Annoyed, Roxanne stood near the door and glanced at the clock again before shaking her head and tapping her foot. _You'd think a guy getting a date for the first time would at least be on time._

The sound of rapidly approaching steps in the hall alerted her to the arrival of her tardy guest just before there was a frenetic tapping at the door and the handle was jiggled.

"Sheesh, ok, hang on," she muttered, reaching for the knob to let him in. She had stayed near the door meaning to be ready to go and not have to invite him inside, but as soon as she tripped the latch the door was pushed open and Megamind rushed past her, slamming it behind him. About to read him the riot act, she paused, noticing the bouquet of flowers he clutched in one bare blue hand as he peered through the peephole.

"You know, it's really not polite to push your way into someone's-"

"Sorry," he gasped, straining to see through the tiny hole. "Your doorman is a maniac. It took me forever to lose him." Suddenly remembering and glancing down at the bouquet, he turned briefly to hand it to her. "Oh. Here you go."

Disconcerted, Roxanne accepted the flowers and took note of her date's outfit as he continued to keep a keen lookout for his pursuer. Apparently he had decided changing out of working attire was a good idea. She had never seen the cape-wearing villain in casual clothing before, and the word "stud" came to mind before she could reign it in as her gaze swept down from a predictable black leather jacket over a black button up shirt to a pair of jeans that she would have guessed was impossible for such a slim figure to show off so well.

"Ahem! Well, I-"

"Oh!" Practically leaping away from the door, Megamind pressed himself against the wall next to it, indicating they were about to have company with a few silent finger stabs and wide eyes. _Doorman_, he mouthed.

Roxanne stared at him, blinking, as the doorbell rang. Holding her flowers to one side, she opened it a crack and smiled at her building's somewhat over-enthusiastic concierge. "Oh! Hi, uh, Carlos."

"Everything ok, Ms Ritchi?" inquired the short but brawny doorman breathlessly. "I was sure I spotted that little blue troublemaker in the building. Thought I better check on you."

"Wha- who, Megamind?" She chuckled. "No… not in here! That's for sure. Everything's fine," she assured him with a half-hearted smile. "I do appreciate your concern though."

"Oh. Well, all right then. But call my cell if you see him. Or need anything," he offered. "You have the number, right?"

"I do, yes," she agreed pleasantly. "And I will. If I need help. Thanks." Offering the obliging doorman a reassuring shrug and a smile, she closed the door and turned to her date who was still standing behind it. "Exactly how is this date going to work?"

Relaxing finally, he straightened his shoulders and pulled down his jacket determinedly. "I have a plan."

Roxanne tried not to wince. "Why doesn't that make me feel better?"


	2. Chapter 2

_Ok, folks. This is a tough time of year for me. If you know what I mean, you know what I mean. Anyway, I've been working this over way too much. Time's gotten away from me, and the whole thing has kind of unraveled and taken some turns I didn't expect and don't necessarily like... But like I said to ladyspock7, there's comes a point when you either put up what you've got, even if you don't like it, or dump the whole thing. And after all this fuss, I don't really feel like doing that. So, on we go. Next chapter will be ready soon because originally it was all one with this, but when I realized the whole thing was far too long I split it. I do hope you'll enjoy. _

* * *

She couldn't believe she was actually in the car – _the_ car – without a bag over her head or cords binding her hands and without being gassed into unknowing darkness. Getting ready she had had a moment of poignant suspicion wondering if he might try something really underhanded and made a mental check of the mace in her purse.

Megamind thus far hadn't lowered himself to the point of taking advantage of her besides the usual bondage and risking of her life, and when she considered that between the tying up and the number of times she'd been unconscious in his presence that he had given himself plenty of opportunity, she had long since decided he was relatively harmless to her sexual integrity despite all the slyly suggestive remarks he lobbed her way. As to why… well, that line of thinking always gave birth to so many unanswerable questions about him, it made her head spin to the point she just had to deflect the thoughts as soon as they came up.

But some guys seemed to have the idea that agreeing to a date granted them a green light for any sort of hands on exploration they might want to attempt - or more - and she could only hope that wouldn't be the case with him. What would an alien criminal genius who had grown up shut away from all sense of normalcy in a prison expect of a first date anyway?

_'First' date. I say that like there's going to be more. Only date. One date. Date, singular… _

But a quick mental review of the confrontation that had led up to them going out alone together instead of going out to engage in yet another power struggle with the usual third party, she realized it was most likely the challenge she'd set before him that he was focused on. He wanted to prove a point. She smirked to herself, a little cynical about his chances.

And now he seemed rather nervous as they sat about as far away from each other as possible in the back seat of the powerful vintage sedan. She snuck a sideways look at him and noticed his eyes shifting here and there, apparently looking for somewhere safe to rest while his fingertips galloped along his knees.

_Desperate not to screw up. _She smirked, fairly certain there would be plenty of mishaps as usual, and she was looking forward to them. _Start with a strong title. Let's see… My Date With the Mysterious Menace of Metro City… or… Spending the Night with...! Yeah, that'll catch their attention_. Including Wayne's but she would explain it later. More at ease than she had expected to be, she spent the car ride nosing out every possible detail about the interior of the vehicle as possible. Which wasn't much.

Before they had left the apartment, he had extracted from her the agreement to a single condition.

"Any proprietary technology or method you happen to observe during our outing shall not be disclosed to the public."

She paused in filling a vase with water for her bouquet, a lovely mix of dark, red-pink carnations and paler pink roses. She had nail polishes in those exact colors...

"To the public?"

"Yes." He paused, looking on as she turned off the tap and opened the little envelope of powder_. That's nice… she wants them to last._ "And I do realize what I'm saying here. Or rather, not saying. If you should decide to spill information to the police… so be it. Although I doubt they'd find anything you could tell them useful or even surprising."

"We're going to be doing things that I might want to report to the police?" she questioned with a skeptical glance.

"Maybe," he answered, trying to sound mysterious. Truth be told, he wasn't sure what the night might hold. Things so often had a way of deviating from the regularly scheduled program, he had learned to expect the unexpected. And since they were venturing out in public, it was entirely possible he might need to take some evasive maneuvers at some point. "You're not getting cold toes, are you? Want out? Ready to pull the plug?"

"Cold feet," she corrected, "And, no, I'm not." And she wasn't. Still fired up to salvage the night and make it memorable by deviating as far as possible from her good girl ways while scoring material for her article, she returned her attention to the vase, arranging the stems with care. _He showed up late, _she mentally composed_, but he did bring flowers._

"I can take whatever you plan to dish up. So," she repeated, "I can go to the police, but you don't want the public to know."

"That's right. As in, don't be a snitch," He folded his arms, watching her.

"So any _specific_ information about your methods or means I can't put in print."

"Correct."

She turned and looked directly at him a moment. "Why?"

He seemed surprised she would ask. "I don't want a bunch of copycats running around, getting ideas from details you blab. Can you imagine the trouble that would be? I mean, to me of course," he amended. "You're obviously very observant. And I do have my admirers you know."

"Really," she murmured.

"Yes, really. Check _that_ out sometime."

The flowers were taken care of so finally Roxanne turned toward her date but looked aside, thinking for a bit. Finally she held out her hand, slipping the other behind her back. "All right. I agree."

He seemed as caught off guard by her outstretched fingers as her response and stared down at for a second before reaching out and slowly taking her pale hand in his. The blue fingers were smooth and cool as they slid past hers until their palms connected; his handshake careful but firm as their eyes met.

She hoped he was as distracted as he appeared to be as blue eyes locked on green and they solemnly shook, once, twice. Dropping his hand, she reached up unconsciously to brush back her hair, startled by its new short length as she tried to remember if their bare skin had ever touched before. He usually wore gloves…

He'd expected more resistance, not knowing she had expected more conditions, and tried not to think about the curve of her cheek matching the shade of the budding roses. Purely by accident, of course. He'd chosen them for another reason. But his were threatening to turn pink themselves anyway…

* * *

Getting out of the building was something along the lines of trying to sneak an illegal guest out of a girls-only prep school dorm. Peering down hallways before scurrying along; hiding around corners, waiting for an empty elevator they could have to themselves. Finally, having made it down to the lobby, they were about to make a clean getaway when the doors opened and Megamind spotted Carlos at his desk.

"Ut-!" The slight sound he made as he plastered himself against the wall of the elevator car surprised Roxanne.

"What's wrong with you?" she whispered, moving over to hide herself from view as well. It wouldn't do to have someone see her standing there apparently talking to the wall. "Are you afraid of Carlos?"

"I'm not _afraid_!" he hissed indignantly. "I just don't want to be seen!"

She stared at him, perplexed by his behavior, and reached automatically to stay the closing doors. Then grasping the collar of his jacket, she pulled it up.

"Hunch over and fake a coughing fit."

Without question, he did as she said, ducking his enormous blue dome as deeply into the coat as possible and beginning to cough loudly and clear his throat. Even with the collar flipped up, the jacket still had to ride up high in the back in order to cover him sufficiently as they walked through the lobby. Roxanne put a hand to his hunched up shoulder in a solicitous manner, shielding him from view as much as she could and pretending to be helpful.

"You okay? Try to take a few deeps breaths. Those… mints are really strong…"

He coughed and mumbled in reply, holding the edges of the collar around his face as they passed the front desk. Roxanne gave Carlos a reassuring smile as they passed. "Altoids."

The doorman returned her smile uncertainly but watched them pass through the front entrance without comment.

Once they were out of sight, Megamind popped out of the jacket and quickened his steps. Catching her elbow, he pulled her toward the edge of the street and stopped, looking around. "Quick, get in."

"Get in… what?"

Reaching out, he grabbed at a heat shimmer in midair and pulled open a car door.

"Oh," was all she said before complying.

He slid in after her without taking notice of the way she moved over to give him room. Not exactly to the point of hugging her side of the car, but she wasn't going to give him the idea that they were sharing this back seat in any way other than two strangers, say, would share a taxi.

"Off we go, Minion," Megamind commanded his driver whose wide brown eyes were watching in the rearview mirror.

"Yes, Sir," the obedient fish replied. He wasn't very certain what he thought about this change of plans for the night, but he could at least drum up a good-natured grin for their longtime victim who was now their guest for the evening. "Good evening, Ms Ritchi!"

"Hi, Minion," she answered with a smile, finding the ease with which she could address her secondary captor odd.

"What does coughing have to do with hemorrhoids?"

Shocked, her wide eyes swiveled to her date's puzzled blue face. "What?!"

The green eyes shifted uncertainly. "I thought I… heard you tell your doorman I was suffering from hemorrhoids," he ventured.

Roxanne spluttered before laughing out loud. "I said you'd eaten an Altoids!" she clarified. "Those 'curiously strong' peppermints? You know."

"Oooh…" The natural highlight over his cheekbones had definitely brightened this time, but Roxanne was sure her own face was glowing as well, either from the mention of the indelicate subject or from laughing so hard. "That makes more sense."

Curbing her hilarity to mere rolling giggles, she eventually managed to ask, "Why did you think I said _that_?"

"Well." He shifted in his seat and avoided her gaze, cheeks blazing. "I was doing my best impersonation of a coughing fit, like you said, so… all I could hear you saying was '-oids'."

"Hahahaha…!"

Even Minion who had glanced up at the rearview mirror in alarm over his boss's indiscretion giggled once before clamping his toothy jaws together and determinedly pointing his eyes forward again.

"Wow," Roxanne eventually said. "Never had a date start right out with a discussion of hemorrhoids before. This should be an interesting night."

"Ugh…" Megamind groaned, turning his face to the window and slumping a little in his seat.

_He started the date by sticking his foot in his mouth. Of course. An awkward medical discussion ensued…_ Roxanne snickered and then noticed her mortified date.

"Hey," she chuckled, reaching over to punch him lightly in the arm. "No big deal." She knew she could rely on the over-eager alien to make some blunders, but that was a doozy and she couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him. Plus she didn't want him tight-lipped and pouting all night. "We made it out, right?"

He ventured to look over at her. "Yeah. We did." That was unexpectedly gracious, not to take the opportunity to gloat over mistake number one. He began to rally a little, seeing as how her laughter wasn't accompanied by a sneer.

_All right, no harm, no foul. Shake it off, shake it off…_ Why was it so much harder to weather slights and blows from her than from, say, some hard-nosed cop or heavy-handed guard? Even the horrified screams and pounding of feet as people ran from him as fast as they could were water off a duck's back. But when she laughed… somehow he fell to pieces.

It must have to do with that whole male-female inter-relational… thing. Which he couldn't understand why he wasn't immune to considering he wasn't even from this planet anyway. He looked over to see her smile still shining on him, not too unkindly, and unwittingly his wilted form straightened. "And… not a bad idea you had."

She shrugged a bit. "Yeah, well. I had to think of something. You were acting like Carlos was…" She waved a hand around. "A big hairy spider or something! I couldn't understand why you didn't just dehydrate him." Her gaze swept over his jacket. "Don't tell me you're not carrying your gun."

"But- This is a date," he protested. "Not some _e_vil scheme." He was bound and determined to show her a better time than she expected. "I was hoping to avoid undue attention. I mean, I am planning to try to do things… the right way." He frowned. "I mean, the right way. Not as in _good_ right, but… the way things are supposed to… Well, yeah, _good_! It'll be good! But not – you know- _I'm _not-"

"Ok, ok. Don't hurt yourself. I think I get it." Roxanne smirked. "I guess it's a good thing you're not the only one who can come up with a brilliant plan."

"Brilliant plan?" An eyebrow lifted. "I think I conceded it was a good idea. But if you fancy your tactical abilities so highly, maybe I should hire you on as a private consultant." She would have lots of inside information about one oversized Scott family member if nothing else. The fingers of one hand began to tap a steady staccato across his knee as he turned to gaze out the window.

Roxanne spotted a crafty grin reflected in the glass near his nose. Uh oh. What nefarious notion had she planted now? Although, it _might_ be interesting… moonlighting for the other team. For a second the thought of sitting in the evil lair, plotting with the two baddest boys in town over a table strewn with papers and blueprints made her shiver. "Huh, yeah," she roused herself from such traitorous feelings to answer. "You do that."

Suddenly Megamind's fingers stilled. His head slowly turned until the emerald eyes pierced her from their corners. "You never know, Ms Ritchi, when I just might," he warned with a sly smirk.

Roxanne blinked and felt her stomach flutter. _He made me an __attractive... strike that,_ unique_ job offer. _She began to take a closer look around the car and suddenly turned to ask, "Why did you bother to make me promise not to give out information when you were going to do all this?"

Everything that was possible to cover, had been. There was little left to see besides the custom steering wheel Minion's metal digits were wrapped around and a heavy drape that stretched from one side of the dash to the other. Obviously underneath were some major modifications that he preferred her not to see.

"I said don't be a snitch. I realize you can't help being a snoop. And I never said I was going to give all my secrets away for free either."

"You don't trust me?" she asked in affected astonishment.

"About as much as you trust me."

"And yet, here I am."

"Snooping around my car..." _I'm not that deluded_, he thought. He had no qualms about why she was really there.

"That reminds me," Roxanne suddenly changed the subject. "I do hope I'm going to get my chocolates back."

"Ah!"

"I was about to mention it before, when…" Crooking a pointer finger, she indicted the spray.

"Yes, of course. Far be it from me to deprive you of the one weak excuse for a birthday gift your disgustingly wealthy boyfriend gave you," he sniffed. "Chocolates. What will he think of next? A giant stuffed teddy bear? With _bah-loons _saying something incredibly witty, like… Lordy, Lordy, look who's forty?" He shook his head with a look of distaste.

"I'm not forty," she protested, reaching to smooth back her new bangs again. "And I suppose you think you could come up with something better?"

He directed a serious gaze her way. "Oh, I _know_ I could come up with something better," he answered. "And I already have. But I will still make sure Minion returns those sad, sorry boxes to your apartment along with my," -the fingers of one hand tented over his chest- "obviously superior gift. Which I'm certain you will find much more impressive."

"Hmm, we'll see," she replied.

They had reached the park, and Roxanne murmured as Minion proceeded in, "I don't think you're supposed to drive through here. It's after seven."

"Who's going to stop us?" Megamind questioned. "They'd have to see us first."

True, she thought, minding how carefully their piscean chauffeur guided the purring vehicle along the narrow lane, just wide enough for a single car to traverse. She suspected it wasn't the first time he'd done it.

Few visitors frequented this area of the park. They passed a pair of joggers and then a lone man reading on a blanket. The numbers dwindled even further as they continued on quite a distance until no one was in sight at all. In fact, it appeared they were headed back to the maintenance section where locked sheds and barns stored chemicals and equipment used to groom the nearly thousand acres an early member of the Scott family had bequeathed to the city over a hundred years previously. She began to feel a little nervous about what exactly he had planned for her back there when the car suddenly stopped, pulling off the path into the grass.

Where had that hedge come from? The formal-looking wall of densely planted evergreens looked very out of place in the middle of the wide expanse of meadow ringed by tall shade trees.

Her companion and chauffer got out of the car, so she did as well, looking around and wondering what they were going to do next. She frowned. It was so quiet. _He took me to a secluded area of the park and… we made daisy chains?_

"Roxanne?"

Megamind was standing near the hedge, one hand indicating the way.

"Oh. Through there?"

As she approached, he pulled at the branches to make a path through them for her, and her steps faltered. Had those trees _moved_? She shook her head. _Seeing stuff everywhere. Just relax, girl. _

The trees were so tightly planted, he was having a hard time parting their branches. He muttered and pulled, trying to make a space for her to pass between them. "Hang on," he finally said, turning to push through first. It was a tight squeeze, and he gave a disgruntled huff, shoving at the offending greenery. She couldn't be sure whether he was talking to her or the trees when she heard him mutter, "Watch it," before turning around and offering her a hand through the narrow space. The scratchy fronds seemed to reach out and grab at her as she wiggled through, but she was mostly aware of touching his hand again. She would have to check all this unnecessary familiarity, she thought as she emerged on the other side at last, brushing at her clothes before looking up.

All her musings ceased. Staring, she felt her jaw drop but managed to stop short of all-out mouth-agape goggling.

The narrow arborvitae had not only formed a hedge but a private, four-walled alcove. And in the center of the space an immaculate table had been set, complete with ground-length white tablecloth, sparkling dishes and tableware, linen napkins, crystal glasses, and many more of the ruby carnations and pink roses surrounding the base of a large, lit candelabra. More candles in sparkling clear glasses dotted the gently waving prairie grass around the table, half-hidden and flickering like gentle stars. Lights even twinkled deep within the hedge surrounding them. The white of the cloth and the dusky flowers dazzled against the intense green of the grass and the trees. The blue sky just beginning to fade to the pink and yellow of a clear summer evening was their ceiling.

A satisfied smirk weighed pleasantly on Megamind's blue lips as he surreptitiously observed his date's reaction.

"We-ell," he couldn't resist asking. "What do you think?" He was confident of having impressed her, but he yearned for the satisfaction of hearing her admit it.

"Wh-" she breathed. "I have to say… This is…! This is impressive."

Megamind stowed his impulse to pull a fist pump but grinned outright. _Yes! Score one_.

"It's really... It's beautiful. But I can't think why there would be a… hedge like this… in this part of the park…" she looked around and then at him.

"Oh… really?" he answered, clasping his hands behind his back and turning at the waist to glance at the shrubs surrounding them.

"You only had an hour," she added in disbelief. "How-?"

She couldn't quite bring herself to press him for answers, but curiosity burned in her blue eyes. And he loved it.

"Well, my dear Ms Ritchi," he began as though starting a little lecture. "As an outcast of society whose presence is most unwelcome amongst the usual citizenry, it's necessary for me to create my own spaces and places at times." He shrugged dismissively. "And anyway… you know," he preened a little, before pulling at the edges of the jacket. "That's just how I roll." He lifted his chin. "_Awesomely_," he added in a kind of self-satisfied growl.

A soft snort escaped her. "Ye-ah. This time."

_The brainbots_, she thought, _obviously_. The mechanical crew didn't seem to be entirely reliable, but apparently they could work quickly. Still, planting an entire hedge? She peered at the base of the bushes and frowned. The ground underneath didn't even seem to be disturbed although it was hard to tell with the grass in the way. She knew he wasn't going to tell her how he'd done it, but he was clearly proud of himself standing there gazing over the preparations with a glow of self-satisfaction.

"Can I… sit down? Or are we just supposed to stand here and stare at it?"

"Oh!" Brought back to reality, he darted forward a little too eagerly before checking himself and pulling out her chair as suavely as possible.

"I feel a little underdressed," she murmured, ruing the jaded thought she'd had back in her apartment that she'd better dress for quick getaways and things exploding and whatever else might go wrong instead of dressing to impress the way she normally would on a first date. It was Megamind after all.

"Not at all," he answered, eyeing the outfit she wore. He didn't mind that she'd dressed casually. He nearly always saw her in professional attire; hadn't seen nearly enough of her in those fabulously fitting denims. His glance traveled up, and he licked his lips, then cleared his throat as they skimmed over the buttery yellow blouse that alternately fitted and draped over her curvy form in the most complementary ways. "You look very nice. As always. And I really do like the hair very much by the way."

Once again her hand strayed to the back of her neck, fingertips feeling for the newly shorn ends. She was already suffering a bit of remorse over her reckless impulse to make such a drastic change to her style, as women often do, and a sense of gratitude for his sincere sounding compliment brought a smile to her lips. She granted him a genuine word of thanks as she sat. If this had been their usual snatch-and-banter scene, she would have expected him to purr about how thoroughly lickable she looked or something. And while those sorts of comments could be weirdly funny and even she had to admit slightly stirring, she was glad that he hadn't marred the quiet beauty of the tableau at hand by being crass for once. It was kind of nice that he was taking the date challenge so seriously. She hadn't been treated this well in... Well, it had been a long time.

Sitting down in the chair he was offering, she completely missed the answering wistfulness that softened his angular features. She would have found it puzzling maybe, not realizing how just her murmured 'thank you' and the way her blue eyes glanced at him as she sat sent his heartstrings zinging and his confidence soaring. In the next minute the happy smile froze as he attempted to push her chair in.

It wouldn't budge. The ends of the legs were stuck firmly in the grass now that the reporter's ample bottom was filling out the seat. And so nicely too. He'd had plenty of practice dragging his eyes away from that impressive sight, but this time he eyed it in consternation as he tried to move the chair again with no result.

Waiting, Roxanne cleared her throat.

With an embarrassingly audible grunt he tried to move the chair once more, but only succeeded in tipping it forward, prompting a startled gasp from his guest as her chest nearly collided with the tablecloth before the back legs banged back down on the ground.

"Um," she offered. "Maybe I can… sort of…. scoot it while-"

Laurel and Hardy would have taken notes as the pair worked to move the stubborn furniture, simultaneously attempting to drive the chair upward and forward, with Roxanne grasping the bottom edge and bouncing slightly on the seat while Megamind tried to time pushing it from behind with when her backside was airborne. But the rough, unyielding ground refused to let the thing slide at all, and the thick grass held the legs fast.

The entire operation had become almost unbearably awkward before the reporter finally gasped, "Ok, stop! Stop! It's… um. You know what? I'll just… sort of perch… here."

His ballooned up pride collapsed once more as he watched her inch forward to the foremost edge of her seat so she could reach the table, and he had to concede a begrudging defeat to the herbage as moved to his own chair and sat down facing her. Roxanne smiled politely.

He sighed. Why did everything have to be tainted with these stupid little hiccups? Could nothing just go smoothly?

He took a deep breath and then cleared his throat.

Nothing happened.

He cleared it a little louder. Somewhere nearby a rustling in the trees answered, and Roxanne heard Minion's voice hissing, "Move it!" Soon he appeared, pushing his way through the unyielding branches, carrying a large picnic basket.

Catching his boss's eye, he complained under his breath, "They might be just a little bit too close…"

Megamind answered with nothing more than a sour expression as he watched the henchman unpack various goodies from the basket and begin serving them both.

The rest of the meal went off without much of a hitch although conversation lagged. Minion stood to one side, waiting in attendance. Her date seemed rather stiff. If he would just relax, she thought, her attempts at conversation might have yielded better results. Namely, material for her article. As it was, every time she looked up he seemed totally distracted. Several times she caught him directing a pointed glare just past her shoulder before catching her eye and composing his face into a more pleasant if vacuous smile, having missed entirely whatever she had been saying.

A quick glance behind her failed to reveal what was commanding his attention, and eventually she gave up both on the conversation and the mystery, choosing to concentrate on enjoying her food which was excellent. She was fairly sure she couldn't credit that to him and finally guessed aloud that the meal had come from a certain delicatessen she frequented in the downtown area. He readily admitted it had. She didn't bother to ask how he knew it was one of her favorite places.

_Although not entirely lacking in social graces, my unlikely escort seemed unable or unwilling to engage me in the kind of... interesting? hmm... compelling... dynamic conversation I would hope for on a date. In the end I was at least able to enjoy a decent meal in a pleasant…. hmm, better than pleasant… what was actually quite an idyllic, pastoral setting although- _

"So, "he suddenly spoke up, interrupting her thoughts as Minion began to clear away. "I think we'll have to chalk this up as a win, eh?"

Roxanne sighed as she looked at her errant host, eagerly waiting to receive his laurels. _He was very goal-oriented, all about making a point, but missing the point of the date entirely. I tried to fill him in._ "You know, Megamind... I realize this is new to you. But the whole idea here is that two people on a date are supposed to enjoy each other's company. You know... to get to know each other?"

He seemed taken aback. "That seems a little… ambitious," he commented, "for us." He really hadn't expected to hear her suggest that they enjoy each other's company. No one expected to enjoy _his_ company. "But I did provide a date, complete with a delicious meal and in a setting of beauty. I went to a lot of trouble too," he pointed out. "It's not as though I could just call up a restaurant and make a reservation, like a certain someone." Plus, he had one more ace up his sleeve he was just waiting to spring on her. If she would concentrate on what was important.

"Yeah, kudos to you for that. But," she reiterated, "I mean, it's not supposed to be a competition."

"Isn't it? I thought dating was all about competition. It's the mating game, is it not? Proving you're a better potential mate than the next guy."

"Uh, well…"

Realizing he had inadvertently suggested he was offering himself for her consideration, he went on quickly. "And anyway, competition can be enjoyable. Don't you think?"

The city's foremost reporter paused. He had her pegged there, and judging by the expectant look on his face, he knew it too. "Yeah, ok, that's true," she admitted with a self-conscious smirk. "I do enjoy a little competition now and then."

"Yes, Miss A-1 Investigative Reporter," he smirked in return, relaxing enough to plant an elbow on the table and point her way. "Anyone paying attention would know that about you. We're alike in some ways, Ms Ritchi," he assured her. "You and I."

"You think so?" she asked in amusement.

"Oh yes. I see more similarities between the two of us than, say… you and Mr. Perfect."

"What are you suggesting? I'm not 'perfect' enough to stand up in a side-by-side comparison with him?"

"No, no, no, I didn't say that," he backtracked, raising his hands before giving a little shrug. "As far as perfection goes, I think you're as much the feminine summit of it as he- er, well-"

He stopped, choosing to avoid admitting his secretively begrudging admiration of some of his foe's masculine qualities – the flying, the physique, the laser vision... hell, the hair alone! He hoped the way she seemed to be thrown off guard by his expansive compliment meant that potential slip had escaped her notice. "But, for instance, how enjoyable would you find competition expecting you'll _always_ win?"

Her first inclination was to argue that that was the point, but quickly she grasped the conundrum. It was no longer really a competition without facing the risk of suffering a loss. Overcoming that possibility was what made the experience exhilarating. And yet, Wayne seemed to relish having confrontations with his rival with supreme confidence borne out by long experience that he would always prevail.

"Hmmm, maybe," she answered her waiting companion. "I do see your point. But," she challenged. "Is it still enjoyable knowing that you'll _never_ win?"

His answer surprised her. "Of course!" he replied expansively. "In fact, it's _freeing_." He leaned forward. "Don't you see it? The underdog can indulge in taking chances, running risks, pushing the limits…. being reckless! Without pressure."

Roxanne stared. That was hardly the answer she had expected especially given the way she had couched the question.

"And… _never_ win?" he added, suddenly addressing her implicit insult. "Please. Look where we are tonight. On a _date_." He waved a hand at the scene around them. "I never say never." His eyes smoldered. "To the possibility of… anything."

Roxanne deflected his veiled overture easily. "But some of the enjoyment of competition is in there at least being the possibility, however unlikely, of coming out on top," she argued, glad they finally seemed to be getting somewhere.

"Oh," he avowed solemnly, "There's always the possibility." A reverential gleam lit his green eyes and after a pause they dropped to the water glass at his place which he picked up and examined thoughtfully. "Especially if you're the underdog. That makes it more ex_cit_ing. Never knowing when suddenly, unexpectedly, you'll pull off a win. A triumph! Just when everyone has written you off… When no one expects you to be able to do anything, you're freed to do and be anything. You're even free to accept defeat. Temporarily, of course! Because you know... someday that will all change. Someday..." He looked up at her. "And in the meantime you have fun trying."

The reporter stared in silence._ He really expects to win someday_. The realization was at once laughable in its absurdity and admirable in its dogged optimism. _He actually believes he can defeat Wayne._ She sat looking at the Napoleonic-sized blue alien across the table and suddenly was surprised to find herself flushed with admiration. _This guy has got some moxie!_ And that was when she realized: _I like him._


	3. Chapter 3

_I actually… like him._ In confusion, she looked down at her lap as a surprised and slightly embarrassed smile pulled at one corner of her lips. _Wow, Roxanne... gonna put that in the article? _ She raised a hand to flick at a crumb on the tablecloth. _Stop. Just stop._

"What?" he asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," she said, looking up again quickly. _I'm insane_, she thought staring for a moment. _But hey, you know what? He's interesting. He… works hard. And it's not like he's bad looking_. _If it wasn't for that massive head and the… blue… _She blinked, alarmed at realizing how used to it all she was now. She hardly thought about the way he looked anymore. And there were those big green eyes… so wide and serious, watching her… She caught herself about to smile again, a snicker stopped in her throat at his puzzled little frown, and looked down again.

Megamind observed his date carefully. She was smiling… Was she mocking him? But the way she once again drew her fingertips along her brow, sweeping her hair aside before dropping her gaze… He really found the gesture rather stirring. It spoke to him... in some primal sense. If this was a real date, he might have guessed she was flirting. _Yeah, right_.

Roxanne's brows knitted together as she tried very hard to concentrate on something else. Anything else. _Geez, Roxanne, don't get a date for a few years and you start drooling over the first guy to ask you out. And, it's Megamind! The nerd who sprays gas in your face and points ray guns at you every week! And! Is this even a real date? I mean, come on, it's Megamind!_ She glanced up at him and away again quickly. _It's just Megamind…_

Straightening up determinedly, she reminded herself of why she'd agreed to go out with him in the first place. The challenge. Her article. Ah yes, the conversation had finally taken a turn for the better. _Good. Ok. Now let's keep it rolling. Keep things light... Friendly! Yeah._ She had to admit she found his ideas fascinating. She'd never considered the contest the two super powers engaged in from his point of view like that before, and his insights were a revelation. Who knew the man in black was the eternal optimist! No wonder he never gave up. But her original question remained unanswered: why?

She had just opened her mouth to question him further when a grunt and a loud rustling interrupted. Minion had been ferrying items to and from their table with more grace and subtlety than she would have thought possible for a fish motoring around in an eight foot tall stainless steel gorilla suit. Now he was fighting his way through the shrubbery again, carefully shielding something with one giant hand. Drawing it away, he revealed the finishing touch in his boss's plan - a small cake beautifully decorated in sparkling smooth icing with a lit candle on top.

The delight on Roxanne's face was obvious as she watched him bring it to the table. "Look at this! You even remembered a cake." Megamind preened before she added, "Thank you, Minion!"

"Hey."

She laughed. "Just kidding. Thank you," she added, turning her smile to include the pouting villain as well. "Megs."

"Megs?" he repeated incredulously, eyebrows rising from a glower to nearly disappear over the top of his head.

"Come on," she coaxed. "This isn't our usual working relationship happening here. We're on a date, right? Can't I call you Megs?"

"Not if you expect me to answer."

Roxanne sighed. "Ok, fine. Just thought I'd try a little informality. But, hey, at least _now_ we're finally doing it."

"We are?" he asked, eyes shifting. "What are we doing?"

"Having a date," she said. "Talking! Exchanging ideas. Being pleasant to each other."

"Oh," he said thoughtfully.

"And I certainly won't turn my nose up at cake!"

Minion grinned again and Megamind looked thoughtful as the warm glow of the candle reflected on their guest's face in the gathering dusk. So she really wanted to interact with him. That was her idea of a date. Not the trappings but the content.

Roxanne smiled down at the pretty dessert. How unexpectedly thoughtful. And it gave her an idea. She looked up at her companions, from one to the other expectantly. "Well? Aren't you going to sing to me?"

"Wh-uh…" Megamind sat like a deer caught in headlights, but his sidekick only smiled and nudged him gently.

"Oh come on, Sir. Why not? It is her birthday!" The amiable water creature inclined his body toward the brunette. "He doesn't like singing in front of people. Although, when he thinks nobody's listening he can really let it rip."

Megamind jumped in his seat, eyes flying open. "Minion," he hissed.

"_He_ doesn't like performing in front of people?" Roxanne asked, pointing at Megamind. "Him?!"

"Oh, he likes performing. Heh heh! You know that! But singing… Ever since school." Minion went on, shaking his head. "It all started during music time. _Someone_ took offense that Sir -"

"Minion!" the startled alien yelped severely. He did not want to talk to their nosy reporter about his shool experiences. "That will do!"

"He always sings to me on my birthday," the fish quickly added behind his hand.

"Come on then. It wouldn't be a birthday cake without the birthday song. I even promise not to laugh." She stowed a mental note for later: School. Singing. "And the wax is melting all over the frosting…" She leveled the full force of her gaze on him. "Please?"

Megamind visibly melted under the power of her big blue eyes faster than the wax under the flame of the candle. Then giving himself a little shake, he sighed. "Oh fine," he conceded, proceeding to murmur the traditional tune at light speed under his breath. "Happybirthdaytoyouhappybirthdaytoyou-"

Roxanne interrupted. "No, no, no… I'm sure you can do better than that." After hearing Minion's confession, her curiosity demanded to know just how well this walking terror could carry a tune. Plus, having found a vulnerable spot, she was enjoying seeing him squirm a little. "You know, Wayne always sings to me. Right in the restaurant," she fibbed, thinking of the way he'd once crooned to her like a frog in a bucket. "In front of everybody. And they clap and clap…"

Her date narrowed his eyes at her needling. "Oh, don't be too obvious."

"I'm just saying," she casually shrugged. "He provides _all_ the components of a proper birthday date… including the song."

"And me without my pitch pipe," Megamind replied, piqued although her baiting was all too obvious.

"Oh well," Roxanne demurred, "If you can't, you know, I understand."

"Come on, Sir," his henchman coaxed, "You know HE can't do better than _we_ can!"

Megamind shot him a sour glance.

"I'll start," he offered. "Haaaappy birthday…"

As the fish began the familiar melody his boss weakly joined in, ruing giving in to the reporter's harassment more than anything, but before long he had forgotten his reticence, harmonizing with his friend as though the pair had a long-standing habit of doing so.

Roxanne looked on in amazement. _To my surprise, my dastardly date and his simian sidekick (oh, good grief… his alliteration is rubbing off on me) serenaded me over a candlelit cake for my birthday! This reporter feels the two might have missed their calling in the entertainment industry…_

Minion's higher tenor voice carried easily through his liquid surroundings, she knew not how, but it was the villain's warm baritone that really captured her ear. He obviously enjoyed singing a great deal because once they had set themselves the task, all else including his reluctance and even his guest's presence seemed to be forgotten.

The two friends smiled as they held each other's gaze, holding notes simply to prolong the enjoyment of hearing them perfectly blend, even through an unusual second verse asking "may the overlord spare you" at which she had to roll her eyes. As the performance drew to a close with great fanfare, she clapped spontaneously, finally drawing their attention away from each other.

"That was great! You two should have tried for a job with a singing telegram company instead of going into municipal menacing!"

Minion bridled with pleasure at her compliment, but Megamind gave a derisive snort. "Singing telegrams…?"

"Municipal menacing!" Minion piped up. "I like that, Ms Ritchi! Sounds like something you'd come up with, Sir! It's got a nice ring to it. Maybe I should have that added to your business card."

"You have a business card? Why have I never gotten one?" Roxanne demanded, wondering who he handed them out to. Megamind only pinched the bridge of his nose. "That was quite a unique second verse, I have to say. Does he sing it that way to you too?"

"Oh yeah," the fish dryly confirmed, cutting the cake. "Followed by, how o-old are you? Don't live in a zoo-o. But you look like a monkey, and-"

"You needn't give away all my secrets, Min-ion," Megamind growled from his end of the table.

"Sorry, Sir."

Roxanne spluttered and smirked. "Well, I'm sure everyone will be very impressed to find out that public enemy number one – and two – can hold a tune quite nicely. And harmonize! Who knows," she teased, "Maybe you'll start getting requests from your fan club."

"Oh! I didn't realize you knew about the fan club!"

Megamind rolled his eyes with a slight groan as grinning Minion laid a piece of cake carefully on a small plate and then abruptly stopped. "Uh oh."

"Uh oh? What is it?" Megamind demanded.

"Um, I forgot to bring more forks."

"Oh." The man in black relaxed. "We'll wait while you go back to the car and fetch them."

"No, I mean… at all." He cringed as he saw his boss's frown deepen.

"I don't mind reusing the one I had before," Roxanne offered.

Minion turned to her with a ghastly smile. "I… already mixed up all the used silverware… yours and Sir's…"

"Oh."

Megamind slumped in his seat although a spectacular face plant on the table might have been a better way to truly express his feelings. Just great. As he'd anticipated, the cake had been a coup. But now they couldn't eat it! That blasted fish would be the end of his patience entirely! Spilling his secrets, making him sing, forgetting the forks. He had just opened his mouth to begin a blistering castigation of his assistant's gaffe when Roxanne spoke up.

"Never mind," she said. "I'll eat mine with my fingers."

She knew that look on Megamind's face. And for reasons she herself didn't quite understand, seeing Minion get blasted alternately raised her hackles or roused her pity.

The abashed fish tried to apologize as he sheepishly placed a slice of cake in front of her, but she waved away the apology and cheerfully pinched off a corner. It certainly looked good, and she wasn't going to let the simple lack of a utensil stop her from having any!

Megamind fumed, watching his guest calmly begin eating with her fingers like a child. His pride still vexed him, chaffed at yet another niggling little mistake that had marred the perfection of his plan to prove he could date as well as anybody. And in particular, a specific somebody! And yet, Minion's oversight had allowed him a glimpse of something unexpected. That jaded journalist had a soft spot for his loyal friend. It didn't take a genius to see that Roxanne had wanted to deflect his ire from the forgetful fish, to the point that she made eating with her hands seem less an inconvenience than just another option.

At the same time that this epiphany dawned and warmed his heart it simultaneously caused him a certain indefinable pang. He frowned. Why should it bother him that the pretty reporter had shown an affinity for his wingman?

_Wingman… Yes. Minion is my wingman for the night. But the wingman's not supposed to get the girl, _he scowled, thinking of Minion's easygoing manner with his victim. They had always been that way.

Never mind, he told himself, she had agreed to go on a date with _him_, not Minion. And on her birthday! Although to be fair the only other option had been unwilling participation in his evil scheme. He sighed. If only Minion had reminded him sooner, he would have put it off. But no, that would have meant losing this opportunity altogether. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing he had forgotten. _There was no way she would have agreed to go out with me under any other circumstances_, he thought. _Although… she did indicate she wanted to interact with me. Get to know me. Not Minion. _

And that was when his conversational shortcomings during the earlier part of the meal struck him. _Oh wow. Brilliant._ He'd been so intent on the presentation, he had forgotten to be _present_. He groaned inwardly, remembering how distracted he'd been. And all the while Roxanne had been trying to make conversation. It was all the brainbots' fault!

Megamind brooded, eyeing the way the reporter carefully tore off pieces of cake, lifting each one to her open mouth, planting it firmly onto her pink tongue. Suddenly aware of what he was seeing, one black eyebrow lifted and his jaw went slack, following her movements. He watched her mouth wrap around the white sugary confection, embracing the tips of her fingers as well before slowly pulling them back out. His gaze closely followed the way her soft lips slid over -

Minion was placing a plate in front of him. He coughed slightly and glanced down at it for a second, but once his henchman moved away the green eyes immediately snapped back to his guest.

"Mmm…" she was humming as her heavy-lidded eyes closed. His own mouth watered until he gulped, watching her lazily lick some frosting from the end of one finger.

Her gaze instantly focused on him. She blinked. "What?"

He stared outright, wishing she would just keep eating. "You're… really enjoying that."

Roxanne chewed a few times, beginning to feel rather self-conscious. "That's the idea, Ace," she answered defensively after swallowing her mouthful. The way he was staring at her, she wondered if she'd forgotten her manners for a moment. "And, I like cake, ok?"

"So do I…" he whispered. Then rousing himself, he looked down and ruthlessly tore off a hunk of cake, popping the overly large bite in his mouth before directing his wide eyes down toward the tablecloth as he vigorously chewed.

Roxanne wondered what had suddenly come over him. _I found my companion hard to read at times. But I suppose I should have expected as much from a super villain alien raised behind prison walls,_ she composed_. And I still haven't had a chance to talk to him about why he engages Wayne in these constant battles._ She would soon enough though. He just needed a chance to loosen up again after that last little setback of the missing forks.

Minion, who had left on some errand after serving the pair, suddenly reappeared and hurried to his boss's side, bending to hold a private consultation in his ear.

"Oh you've got to be kidding," she heard Megamind mutter. "Um," he addressed her, standing up from his chair. "I'll be right back."

Roxanne watched the two push through the bushes, leaving her alone._ Well, at least it is pretty out here. He did do a nice job._ She took another bite of cake, thinking about what he'd said about Wayne simply calling for a reservation and glanced around, nodding appreciatively. Megamind always put in a lot of effort, whatever he did. Too bad it usually ended up being destroyed. Maybe she could talk him into making this little spot a permanent fixture that only they would know about. It would be a great little getaway, tucked back where few would find it. Thinking hard as she continued to nibble, she was distracted from a quiet swooshing in the grass behind her. But the odd sound caught her attention eventually, making her turn in her seat.

"What the- Oh my gosh!"

One of the tall narrow arborvitae that formed the perimeter walls had relocated itself directly behind her chair. It seemed to be leaning over the back of it, reaching for her hair. Roxanne shrank back toward the table, a hand raised in alarm.

"Hey!" Megamind barked, pushing his way back through the hedge to stride toward them.

The shrub stood waving its branches slightly, crowding her. Roxanne nervously cringed but when nothing happened she peered more closely, trying to see between the branches. She reached carefully to part them.

"Ah, ah…" Megamind chided.

"What?" she demanded.

"No touching."

"It started it!" she protested. "And anyway, how did-"

"Now, now," he interrupted. "I told you. I don't mean to give away all my secrets." Then he directed a sharp order to the errant shrub. "Back in line, you! Minion!"

Their attendant appeared from the other side of the greenery that had remained in place. "Oops. On it, Sir!" Lumbering toward the tree still standing behind Roxanne and now wiggling in place, its bracts rustling, he shooshed it back to where it belonged. "Sorry, several things are… getting out of hand," he muttered with a worried glance toward his boss. "Go on! Get back in there."

She watched in bewilderment as the "tree" moved over the ground, leaving it undisturbed. Its trunk and roots seemed to be _in_ the ground, but the long grass around them looked the same as before. And now it was trying to squeeze between the other trees with Minion's assistance.

"Impressed?" Megamind queried as he sat with a smug grin, observing her reaction.

"Brainbots obviously," she murmured, turning to answer him. "But I have no idea how."

His proud self-assurance slipped a little. "Brainbo- Heh heh… What?– I mean, what makes you think _those_ are brainbots? That's crazy! They're _trees_, obviously!" he insisted, planting a fist on one hip and giving a nervous chuckle.

"By the way they act," she answered. "And the way you act toward them. But how-"

With a pout Megamind folded his arms and scowled at her.

"Sir? A little help here," Minion begged, still struggling to put the tree back in its place. The other bushes had closed ranks and appeared to be refusing to make room for their brother.

"All right," Megamind called to them. "Spread out."

Instantly the entire hedge obeyed, moving so far away and apart that their previously close formation resembled the bars of a spacious cage rather than four walls, leaving the occupants inside exposed to view.

"No! Not so far!" he retracted immediately, hands flying out. "Close in-"

Suddenly they were crowded by greenery pressing right up to the table, leaving Minion outside entirely.

"Gah! You idiots!" Their harassed master raised his arms, trying to ward off the limbs that were tickling his enormous blue head. "Get back in line where you're supposed to be!

Presently they did, settling back into their assigned positions without further ado. Megamind glared around at them before hearing his date give a snicker. He turned to direct his disapproval at her. "It's not funny."

Combing her tossled tresses back into place with a few swipes of her fingers, she smiled apologetically and chuckled, "It's a little funny."

His nostrils flared as he gave a deep, frustrated sigh.

"And… your collar…" She pointed at her own neck, looking at the top of his jacket.

He slapped a hand over it, askew after the affectionate mauling he'd received from his adoring creations, and snapped it up sharply. "So what? I like it like that." Folding his arms again, he slumped into his chair and stared darkly.

Roxanne composed herself, returning her attention to the rest of her cake. Amused as she was, she felt for him. She couldn't help it. His gaffes were so often these facepalming, pathetic scenes of slapstick comedy and his reactions to them just as hilarious… but pitiful and also… endearing. He tried so hard! And just kept on trying! She smiled to herself a little as she nibbled, catching a whiff of smoke like a memory of the better part of the evening. Something inside her was cheering him on, sure that he would make a mess of things but sincerely hoping he would persevere in his usual dogged fashion.

"Why?"

Startled by the sudden question from the other end of the table, Roxanne looked up. "What?"

"I just wondered… why. Why did you agree to this?"

She stared back even while sensing a bit of frosting on her lower lip and pulling it between her teeth. He'd beat her to the question of the day.

As Megamind had sat glowering, watching the lady across the table, a strange sensation began to steal over him. It started with a tightness in his chest, an odd aching squeeze. It grew stronger until he was distinctly uncomfortable. He squirmed and frowned. What was this foreign sentiment? It took him a moment of dredging through some long forgotten feelings to recognize it as a sense of compunction.

She didn't have to be there. She could have been having a marvelous time with her beefy boyfriend in some fancy-schmancy place in town in full view of their admiring public – post-magnificent battle, of course – and instead here she was eating her own birthday cake with her hands, hiding out in the middle of the boondock back recesses of the city park with him. The perpetual loser.

Roxanne's stomach fluttered. _What a time to have suddenly decided that I like this guy_. There was no way she would tell him that of course. She'd never hear the end of it! Had he guessed? No. If he even thought that she might be attracted to him, he would have been gloating all over the place. "Because you… you know. You challenged me. I wasn't going to back down from that."

This was her birthday. This woman whom he couldn't even deny that he admired; who was the only one he felt worthy and capable of handling the frequent participation in his rigorous routine of domination. And she had agreed to spend the evening with him. Him! She deserved better.

"I don't quite buy that. You didn't have to say yes," he wondered aloud. "You've put me in my place often enough before."

Half an hour ago she could have just laughed in his face, but now she knew that it would only come out sounding forced. Basically a big neon sign proclaiming, BINGO! You guessed it! Feeling her cheeks on the verge of blazing, she tried her usual tactic of distraction. _I wonder where he got the flowers… no. The smell of smoke._ She sniffed, thinking of the birthday candle she'd blown out. It was awfully strong for one little candle. Maybe it was coming from the candelabra as well. She quickly counted. _Nine candles… interesting. I wonder if all candelabras have an odd number of holders…_ The sensation of the impending blush subsided. "Well, and then there's the article too," she finally added aloud.

"You've done plenty of stories on me, Roxanne," he deflected her argument. "Ferreted out more details than anyone needs to know. You needed more?" Slowly his face lit up. A smile crept over his lips. "_You_ needed to know more…"

_Uh oh._ "What? You think I wanted to know more for… my sake?" She tried to sound indignant. "Please. Try to reign in your ego. Although I realize with a head that big, it's naturally difficult."

He snorted, still looking very pleased with his new idea. "You could have been out with Mr. Right. But instead you chose the company of… _Mr. Wrong,_" he purred, waggling his eyebrows at her.

Roxanne forced a nervous chuckle. "Oh please. What are you suggesting?" She noticed his wicked grin still confidently in place and tried a nonchalant shrug. "Ok, look. Birthdays annoy me. They always have. Yes, I wanted to do something different tonight. Get out of the usual routine. And your challenge was a chance to shake things up for once, I admit. But… you're reading _way_ too much into it." Her mind raced for more ideas to derail where his train of thought seemed to be headed… too close to the truth for comfort.

"My dear Roxanne… " he smoothly offered. "Shaking things up is my specialty. You've finally come around to the right alien."

She suppressed a shuddering thrill at the silky voice, wondering how to gain control of the situation again. "Right. Wrong. I think you're getting a little confused," she said, narrowing her eyes at him and noticing the smell of smoke again. She sniffed and glanced around at the same time as she noticed a soft crackling.

He leaned forward on his elbows, eyes smoldering. "You should know that I've always thought that-"

"Um, Megamind-" Roxanne was staring at something behind her.

"You and I-"

"Megamind," she butted in desperately, turning around. "We have a problem!"

"Roxanne… it doesn't have to be a problem."

"You don't get it!"

"I'm sure there's-"

"Fire!"

"Yes, a burning, yearning -"

"No!" she yelled, jumping up on her seat and pointing behind her. "FIRE!"

A small blaze had started in the grass which had managed to catch flame from the candles that had been overturned when the brainbot-trees had rushed them all at once.

Catching on at last, Megamind dropped his romantic overture like a hot rock and leaped from his seat, shouting for his sidekick. The shrubbery began to get agitated again in all the excitement, and soon were darting from their places here and there like massive chess pieces in some fantasy game, creating the most terrible confusion. A couple rushing bushes ran into each other and fell over, rolling around on the ground. Roxanne climbed onto the table, hoping to save herself from the stampede just as her chair was knocked askew. Her scrambling feet pushed over dishware and squashed the last of the cake as she spun around to watch the scene unfold with wide eyes.

"MIN-ION!" Megamind yelled, grabbing a pitcher of water from the table. Running toward the flames, he tossed it in as wide an arc as he could but covered only a small portion of the scorched area that was quickly spreading their way.

"Hang on, Sir!" Dodging the darting trees to bring a fire extinguisher on the run, Minion arrived to cover the rest of the blaze in a loud hissing whoosh of foam that finally ended the emergency.

"STOP!"

At the sound of their master's command, every tree froze in place. Some were lying sideways in the trampled grass and crushed glass and candles. One heedlessly galloped away across the park. The others stood willy-nilly around the once pristine space now partly blackened and partially covered in piles of fire-retardant foam, all completely destroyed. As usual.

Megamind slowly looked around at the scene of destruction, then at his date standing in the midst of the scattered flowers and smashed cake on the table, mouth agape. Last he looked at his sidekick who stared back a moment before shrugging helplessly. His shoulders dropped with a heavy sigh, his giant head falling forward as he trudged back to his chair.

"Where did you get a fire extinguisher?" Roxanne asked Minion.

"We keep one in the trunk," he answered truthfully. "This happens a lot more often than you probably think."

"This?" she asked incredulously, gesturing at the scene around them.

"Well," the fish said, looking around, "Not _this_ exactly… but…" He clutched the canister to his metal chest, gazing sadly at the mess.

Megamind reached his end of the table and took one more look at the ruination of his grand plan for the night before dropping heavily into his seat. He propped his heavy head up with one hand, staring dejectedly as Roxanne took Minion's hand and jumped down from the table.

"Are those sheep?" A few odd-looking animals appeared to be tied under the shade trees nearby. Spikes bristling from their wooly coats gave them away as something out of the ordinary.

"Um, yes. But they were… for something else," Minion answered carefully with a glance at his grimacing boss.

Roxanne felt a little dizzy. What a surreal evening. If she had wanted to do something out of the ordinary, she had certainly gotten her wish. _As usually happens with our fair city's nemesis, the evening ended spectacularly, going up in flames… _

"You can go," Megamind listlessly murmured. "… any time."

Roxanne turned to him. "Am I being dismissed?"

Cheek in hand, he stared blankly in the general direction of the candelabra. "I'm sure you've got plenty of material for your article now."

He couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes. Moments ago he'd actually been accusing her of having romantic feelings for him. At least the fire had allowed him to save face. Sort of. His eyes closed miserably. Who was he kidding? Who would want to be with him? On a date like this?

Roxanne frowned. Megamind sat with the longest face she'd ever seen. For the first time, he truly looked defeated. He was waiting for her to walk away. His face was blank; his snappy emerald eyes dull. She had never seen the indefatigable genius brought so low. He had given up. And it didn't please her at all. She turned to his piscean partner. "Minion," she said. "Can we have a moment…?"

"Um, sure," he answered with a worried glance toward his silent friend. He hoped she would be kind. "I'll just… go wait in the car."

The reporter watched him lumber away, then turned to her captor and pressed her lips together, resisting a suddenly impulse to walk over and sit in his lap so she could throw her arms around his neck and hug him. Instead she walked over and stood beside him, looking down on the top of his bald blue head as he continued to refuse to meet her eyes. She leaned her rear against the edge of the table and opened her mouth to speak, but he beat her to it.

"I didn't mean to ruin your birthday," he muttered dejectedly.

Roxanne paused. "You didn't? You were going to originally."

He looked up at last. "Yeah but… this is different."

She stowed the hugging impulse again, kicking herself for being drawn in to a man who threw whole sections of town into chaos on a weekly basis by nothing more than a pair of sad puppy eyes. Amazing puppy eyes. Her hands gripped the edge of the table a little tighter.

"I was under the impression this was a date."

He blinked several times. "Yeah. It is." He looked around. "…was."

"So then… I'm not your victim tonight," she pointed out. "Am I."

He looked a little confused.

"I've always been free to leave."

"I guess… that's true."

"And yet," she went on with a shrug and a half smile. "I'm still here."

The despondent alien stared at her as though he wasn't sure if he understood.

"And… the night's still young," she declared, smiling wider. "Tell you what, Megamind," she suggested. "Why don't we just forget about… all of this and start over. Forget that we challenged each other. Forget Wayne and whatever you think you have to do to be better than him for once. Be yourself."

"This is myself," he said quietly. "And I think you're just feeling sorry for me."

"Maybe. Are you going to let that stop you?"

He thought a moment. "No."

"So ok. Let's dump the chaperone," she added, thumbing in Minion's general direction. "And just… make this a date."

"A date," he repeated. He looked up at her. "Why?"

Why. It always came down to that. "I'll make you a deal. I'll answer one why from you if you answer one why from me. Later." She smiled at him encouragingly. "What do you say?"

He swallowed. That could be risky, but he wanted to know. This woman never failed to surprise him. "… ok. Yeah," he answered in wonder. "But… where do you want to go?"

She shrugged. "Show me what you do for fun. No explosions! Please. Or fires. But surely you get out of the Lair now and then. Right?"

"What about your article?"

She thought about her mental composition. "Eh well... don't worry about it."

Megamind looked down, his brows drawn together with one hand curled near his chin. Could he really show her? Could they actually do this thing called dating? Getting to know each other. What a concept. For him. A dangerous concept. But for the first time, he felt stirred to… open up. He glanced up at her waiting. Dare he hope she meant what she said and wasn't just playing him in a weak moment? She was certainly good at her job if that's what this was. He hoped it wasn't. Dare he allow her to be privy to his secrets? It was a risk. But who was he if not the bigheaded blue alien who swallowed risks like vitamins with his breakfast?

He finally looked up at her again with a tentative smile. "Eine kleine nachtmusik?"

* * *

I hope I didn't forget anything in here... I'm a little distracted... Christmas is almost here! AHHHH! And as to that: I hope you all have a very merry and joyful Christmas and a wonderful new year too! I'm thankful for you all and wish you blessings and love and every good thing. :) Thank you for reading! And a special thanks for the reviews that keep me going!


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